Official sources of the US Government revealed that the perpetrator of the Fort Hood shootings was an Irishman called Patsy O’Hasan. From their statement we have learned that Patsy was a normal bloke just doing his job until one of the lads accused him of being from Limerick. Naturally after such an insult Patsy decided to become a lone gunman.
We are told he was motivated purely by the need to serve the agenda of the government to create unrealistic fear of domestic Irish terrorism in the US and to cause the ejit Americans to foolishly give up their freedoms at home and to run off to invade Iran and get themselves all killed.
“Hahahaha that will teach them !” Patsy allegedly wrote on an Al CIAda website
It was also rumoured, from a bloke in the pub, that Patsy once rang Patsy Bin Laden when he was looking for spare bodies for the hurling team one sunday when they were short. We cannot confirm if Bin Laden was available to play.
On a similar story it cannot be confirmed or denied that Patsy had once been to Mass for his Holy Communion in the same church as the infamous Patsy brothers who flew planes into New York recently while simultaneously working on their computers in their jobs in the dole office in Ballyhaunis.
This is just another in a long line of lone gunmen Irishmen called Patsy who have completely and expectedly changed the course of US politics in the direction that the ruling elite businessmen desired.